Thursday 12 October 2017
100 Word Challenge Week #5
It sits on my wall in its shiny glass case, my prized possession. I was in disbelief when I first got it, I remember slowly peeling back the wrapping paper as my grin grew wider. I loved it from the moment I saw it; the colours, the team, the signatures, the certificate of authenticity. My sister ordered it from England; I think it cost her all of her savings and I am very thankful for it. Each day when I look at it, it inspires me to train harder, and maybe one day kids will be motivated by me.
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Hello Odd1out,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the way your writing tells a story, and leaves your reader with emotion towards the importance of this item. The vocabulary you have used is excellent e.g. possession, disbelief, and motivated. You have one run-on sentence. Can you figure out where you should have used a period and started a new sentence? Congratulations on completing your first 100 Word Challenge.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Van